More Quickie Jokes

We were attacked by these undead creatures. Total assholes. Talked all this wight power shit.

I was all stoked to reach fifth level to get fireball. Unfortunately I picked it up a little bit earlier in a tiefling brothel.

I went to Tijuana with a warlock for my last vacation. He thought he was a hard ass cuz of his high constitution score and wasn't careful about drinking the water. Dude had eldritch blast for a week.

I was stuck in the Bay Area without a car and with lousy armor. So I just took AC Transit.

I always assumed the Eladrin were sorta squares. But then I went to one of those fey bars. Dudes know how to party.

I've been following undead politics lately.
The vampire contingent has lost a lot of ground to the wight wing.

Overheard in the Adventure's Guild:

Lately I been hanging out with Alenaela, the elven sorceress lately. Because of the whole elves living many life times compared to a human, she has a kid that's like four times my age; Silvadrin, the archer. So I was up at the Ornery Wyvern tavern, and Thurbaard the dwarf was up there, and I hadn't seen him for a fortnight, so we each bought each other a few flagons of ale, and before I knew it I was pretty wasted. After a few hours of carrying on like idiots, Silvadrin comes in, and I'm all friendly, well thinking I'm friendly, and have him sit with us. I was already pretty drunk, and he got a bottle of sylvanberry wine, and then Snifflefoot the halfling busts out a bag of blow, so I'm wasted and yammerin', can't keep my mouth shut. So I decide it'd be a good idea to tell Silvadrin all the things we have in common. Started out dumb enough, just adventuring stuff. Then Thurbaard mentions Alenaela. Guess who can't stop making a joke once it pops into his head? So I tell Silvadrin how we both crawled around in his mom's pussy and sucked on her titties. Dude got pissed, no shit, right? But get this, he says "though I will not comment on the most vulgar of your statements, you would do well to know elven women do not lactate or breastfeed like you coarse humans. Good day!" And storms out. Fuckin elves man. Those are some nice old titties though.

A few Dungeons and Dragons jokes

Why did the mummy infect the cleric with necrotic rot?
Because daddy liked to see prostitutes.

Why were rot scarab swarms with the mummy.
Daddy got angry and said it was from his friends couch.

Is the mummy bloodied?
>giggle< menses.

What is the save against mummy rot?
The nurse was a bitch. Cotton swab.

Why does Chris Hansen like 4e?
He heard about the minor action and that will make great television.